For World Breast Feeding Week, we’re delighted to announce that we have joined forces with the founder of The Mum Ribbon Movement Anna Mathur. As a Mum of three, bestselling author, psychotherapist and speaker, Anna knows all too well about the juggle of motherhood. So, she founded The Mum Ribbon Movement to show solidarity, understanding and kindness. Tying a ribbon to your bag is a code between Mum’s to say, we’ve got you.
To mark World Breast Feeding Week, we’re launching our own ribbons which will come with every Pippeta order from 8th August onwards. We’re the first brand to support The Mum Ribbon Movement in this way, and we can’t wait for the Pippeta community to be part of it.
Tie this ribbon to your bag…
It says you can ask me for a spare nappy or a chat. It says I’m here if you need a not-so-random act of kindness.
It says I’m open to help if…
you’re having a tough time. It says I welcome your words of solidarity if you see me deep breathing on the high street.
It says you’re not alone.
Share your photos and stories with @mypippeta and @annamathur
A message
from Anna
Psychotherapist. Speaker. Author
Motherhood is a wild ride.
How often have you been told to go easy on yourself, because motherhood ‘takes a village’. Well, as a Psychotherapist to overwhelmed mums, I have spoken to so many mums who have asked me quite where the so called village is at. Perhaps they look around them and feel like the only one who is having one of those rough days that seem to roll into weeks. Or maybe the sporadic phone calls to family who live hours away, and hurried WhatsApp’s to friends just aren’t feeling ‘village-y’ at all. As a mum of 3, I have also felt acutely alone in parenting, questioning whether my baby’s refusal to sleep and undiagnosed reflux crying was actually my fault. The fact is that no matter how surrounded we are by antenatal friends or family, we can all feel lonely and disconnected on the roller-coaster of emotions. One minute our hearts practically ache with gratitude, and we’re feeling all ‘I’ve got this’ and the next, we’re recognising that we ‘haven’t got this’ one bit.
It's those overwhelming moments we remember, isn’t it? We rarely congratulate ourselves for the moments we’re thriving, but we’re quick to criticise the ones where we’re merely surviving. However, one of those ‘I’ve not got this’ moments of mine sparked a viral movement I called ‘The Ribbon Movement’, it flew around Instagram bringing mums and carers together through simple ribbons tied to bags, and reminded us that the kindness of the village isn’t a fantasy after all! Let me share it with you.
Melting ice creams and meltdowns
One tired afternoon, I walked down the street, running errands with my three kids. We’d left the buggy in the car, which was an error. My arms were loaded with shopping bags and my daughter was refusing to walk. To try and shift the mood, I declared an ice cream stop. For one blissful moment, all kids were quiet, standing in the sunshine with their sweet icy treats. And then the moment passed. I had three, sticky, grumpy, exhausted children. One of whom was still refusing to walk, one who’d dropped his ice cream on the floor, and the oldest who just decided to fall in line with the drama. ‘I’ve not got this at all’. I looked around, not knowing what to do next. Feeling like a failure as I stood beside this loud spectacle of kids whom I could neither comfort nor calm. I felt frayed, like a child myself who needed a parent to sweep in, to guide my next steps, to mother me. I needed kindness. I hoped to see a familiar face amongst the people walking by, or even just a warm look of solidarity from a grandmother or fellow mum, but I didn’t see either.
However, I just KNEW that amongst the crowds, there would be people who walked past who’d seen our chaos and would have wanted to approach me. Maybe they yearned to offer an encouraging word, a moment of distraction or a hand. I’ve been that person who has wanted to help but not known if it would be welcome. This moment in the high street had me reflecting. What do you think stops you approaching someone who’s clearly having a tough time, and what stops you reaching out and asking for help from a passer-by?
"One minute we’re feeling all ‘I’ve got this’ and the next, we’re recognising that we ‘haven’t got this’ one bit."
For me, the concern about offering a kind word or a helping hand is rooted in a fear of the mother feeling patronised or maybe undermined. I have definitely experienced moments where an offer of help from a stranger might have compounded that sense of failure. Have you? My internal narrative sounds a bit like this: ‘I feel like a failure, and now this stranger has seen my lack of ability to hold it together, and sees my failure too’.
And as for why I don’t find it easy to reach out? For me, and many of my clients too, it feels like a vulnerable thing to ask for help in a culture that praises self-sufficiency. So in a moment that already feels vulnerable, it feels tough to be rebuffed.
Why the ribbon?
The ribbon idea came to me as a lightbulb moment. I see sunflower lanyards that speak a message, ‘baby on board’ badges that gently ask for accommodation. I see many small and large visible signals that say ‘hey, I’m here’. How great would it be, I thought, if that day on the high street I’d been able to look around for some kind of sign of solidarity, or a signal that someone was open to being that extra pair of hands in a small moment of need? And wouldn’t it be great if some of those passers-by could be reassured by me quietly telling them that I was open to being approached by them, that I’d welcome their kindness?
The ribbon says ‘I’m open to giving you kindness, and I’m open to receiving yours’. It says ‘I’m open to warm words or knowing nods, and I’m here to be asked for a nappy or a hug’. Any ribbon will do, any colour. Tie it to a bag or a buggy handle, make it visible. The ribbon offers a talking point, a chance to connect, a sign of permission to offer and accept help.
"The ribbon says I’m open to giving you kindness, and I’m open to receiving yours."
The ribbons that flew
After taking the step to share the story and the hashtag #themumribbonmovement it flew! I had messages saying that posters had been placed in hospitals, halls and caffes to name but a few. The response spoke to such a collective yearning for connection. A group of Grandmothers began creating ribbon keyrings, brands printed their own to give freely with each product sold, charities and small business sent out hundreds of ribbons. What’s more, it was picked up by the press, and even broadcast media!
As people began to share their stories with me, I knew how needed this was. One mum told me how she’d felt lonely having moved to a new area. She met a mum with another ribbon and had arranged a coffee date. Another sat in the airport, her flight delayed, sharing stories with another mum who had a ribbon, helping share the motherhood load as the hours passed. And one of the most pertinent stories was the mum, having just received a phone call to share some sad news, saw a mum in the park with a ribbon and asked for a hug.
Come and join the movement
In a culture that finds it easier to pit women against one another, and where loneliness, anxiety and mental health challenges are an epidemic in themselves, these little moments of connection aren’t small at all, are they? They are deeply needed and welcomed by many. They are the balm to comparison; they are the slow building of the village, they build confidence. They are an opportunity to see and validate one another, meeting a deep human longing. These moments can transform someone’s day, and perhaps even their life.
Through the simple, yet symbolic act of tying ribbons, Pippeta is continuing what I started. As a brand, I love what Pippeta stands for. It’s independent, founded by a ‘normal’ mother of three, who is as passionate about empowering and supporting breastfeeding mothers in their maternal mental health, as she is about providing affordable, high-quality pumps and breastfeeding accessories. After all, an accessible, hands-free pump, which allows mums to enjoy extra cuddles, should not be overpriced!
"As a brand, I love what Pippeta stands for. It’s independent, founded by a ‘normal’ mother of three"
I am proud to be working with Pippeta and be part of Pippeta’s Mum Ribbon Movement and encourage all mums and family members to join in. So, grab a ribbon, tie it on your bag and be open to what may happen. We are finding our village in unexpected places, and it is alive and well.
Get your Mum Ribbon here.
Please share your ribbon photos and stories by tagging @annamathur and @mypippeta.
