Love, Lactation & Libido: Navigating Intimacy While Breastfeeding

Introduction: The Love Hormone, Breastfeeding & Intimacy

February is the month of LOVE, so let’s talk about all things LACTATION and LIBIDO. 

Let’s be real, for new parents, romance might look a little different to what it did post pregnancy when there’s a newborn in the mix. Between late-night feeds, nappy changes, and generally adjusting to life with a baby, intimacy often takes a backseat. And that’s completely normal!

Breastfeeding, while an incredible bonding experience, comes with its own hormonal shifts that can affect your body, emotions, and even your sex drive. The love hormone oxytocin, which helps with milk let-down, is also responsible for deep connection and bonding, whether with your baby or your partner. But alongside oxytocin, prolactin and oestrogen fluctuations can lead to changes in libido, energy levels, and physical comfort.

So, how do breastfeeding and intimacy co-exist? And what can you as new parents do to keep the romance alive while navigating this new chapter? Let’s explore the science, the emotions, and some practical ways to get that spark back whilst breastfeeding!

The Science of Oxytocin: Why Breastfeeding Affects Connection

Ok- so let’s start with the Science of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a powerful and key hormone in breastfeeding as once a baby is born, oxytocin helps with milk letdown from the breast to the nipple and aids in fostering that all important bond between mother and baby. Have you ever had that incredible moment when you look at your baby and suddenly feel your milk let down? Or when you're pumping with your baby nearby, and those oxytocin hormones kick in? That’s the power of the love hormone. 

This is very similar to how our bodies produce oxytocin when we are aroused or excited by our sexual partner or when you fall in love. However, these feelings toward your partner, especially in the early postnatal period may be dampened due to your intense hormonal bonding experience with baby, never mind the non-hormonal changes and emotions you may feel such as a lack of confidence and the struggles with pain and tiredness in the initial stages of breastfeeding. Again, this is completely normal!

Libido & Breastfeeding: Why Your Sex Drive Might Feel ‘Different’

As you establish your breastfeeding routine you will experience an increase in prolactin levels which is another hormone aiding in promoting your milk production. Prolactin can however suppress Oestrogen and testosterone which are both linked to your sexual desires being the scientific explanation for a diminished sexual drive postpartum. You may also feel differences in body shape and energy levels further impacting your overall libido. But not to worry, these feelings and your desires will more than likely be temporary and will of course be ever changing as your baby grows and circumstances change.

Emotional & Physical Shifts: Feeling Like ‘You’ Again

 

“Becoming a mother is more than a change in title —it’s a profound and often 

unexpected change in how you see yourself.”

Let’s face it, we all experience those tough moments when we struggle with a postpartum identity crisis. As stated in research, “A discrepancy between women’s body image and this constructed ideal can cause body dissatisfaction” unrealistic ideas around the perfect postpartum body and ‘bouncing back’ can leave you feeling undesirable by your partner. This is normal and common but there are ways to make it through. The best place to start is with prioritising yourself, taking stock of all your feelings, staying active and taking time to discuss your feelings especially with your partner and those around you for support. Most importantly remember these feelings are more than often temporary and you will soon begin to feel like ‘you’ again.

How to Reignite Intimacy While Breastfeeding

Don’t worry, you haven’t lost it! There are many practical ways to regain your connection with your partner and get that sex life spicy again in no time. 

Prioritise connection—plan date nights, embrace small gestures, and use humor and laughter to stay close, even if you're not ready for physical touch or intimacy just yet.

Making time for yourself and leaning on others for support—self-care is key. Go to that yoga class or meet your friends for a coffee and a catch up, express your milk, and take breaks! With the Pippeta breastfeeding range you can express and store milk taking those all important rests while others lend a hand. It takes a village to raise a child so don’t be afraid to let others gradually get involved in the feeding process.

Communication Tips—Rebuilding intimacy after childbirth takes time, open dialogue, and a willingness to adapt to the changes in your relationship. Be honest about your emotions, energy levels, and any physical or mental barriers you're experiencing. Set realistic expectations with your partner and express what you need—whether it's more rest, emotional support, or simply small moments of affection. Remember, intimacy isn’t just about physical touch; it’s about feeling connected, understood, and supported as you navigate this new chapter together.

Scheduling an appropriate time- As unsexy as it may sound we all know that time is precious as parents and free time is far and few between so scheduling time for intimacy can be the best form of ensuring you spend time together when your energy levels are higher and baby is likely sleeping. It’s also important to expect that these plans may change and ensure that your partner understands this to avoid disappointment and unnecessary pressure to connect.

Focus on non sexual intimacy- can your partner offer you smaller gestures to help rebuild closeness without the pressure of sex? Let them know when you need a hug, enjoy a relaxing massage together, or share a warm bath. These small moments of connection can strengthen your bond and, over time, help you feel more comfortable and ready to ease back into physical intimacy when you're ready.

Final Thoughts: Embracing the Changes Together

Navigating intimacy while breastfeeding is a chapter filled with hormonal shifts, emotional adjustments, and physical changes. It’s completely normal for your libido to fluctuate as your body prioritises recovery, bonding, and milk production. The key to keeping the connection alive lies in open communication, mutual support, and redefining intimacy in ways that feel right for both you and your partner.

From small gestures of affection to scheduling quality time together, there are plenty of ways to maintain closeness and rekindle intimacy at your own pace. Remember, this phase is temporary, and as your baby grows, so will your confidence, energy, and desire for connection. Prioritising self-care, leaning on support systems, and keeping an open dialogue with your partner can make all the difference in rediscovering your intimacy, whenever you feel ready.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself—your body has done something incredible, and love in all its forms, whether for your baby or your partner, will continue to evolve beautifully over time. 

Please note this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Therefore, If your libido remains low beyond what feels normal for you, consider seeking professional guidance. A doctor, therapist, or specialist in postpartum health can provide tailored advice and support to help you navigate any underlying physical, hormonal, or emotional factors.

As an extra treat we are offering 15% off your order with the code ‘LOVE15” tap below to shop.

(Offer ends 14th February at 12pm)